Mark your calendars, dear readers: my birthday is imminent! Each year I try to take this opportunity to pause and reflect on another bygone year of my life–all of its attendant ups and downs, its triumphs and tribulations–and to really ask myself, “What presents should people buy me?”
FYI, dear readers, “Call Me Maybe” has been stuck in my head… every. F-ing. DAY since I wrote that STUPID POST!!!!! In other words, my life is a living hell. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “No punishment could be too harsh.” Fine. If this is the price I have to pay for bringing some existential meaning into all of our lives, then so be it. Just put me on suicide watch, maybe?
On a lighter note, please find below the long-awaited video of my stand-up act from the 2012 Friendpal Talent Show. I can’t say my routine doesn’t somehow involve (surprise!) Canadian teen pop stars, but at least there’s no “Call Me Maybe”. At ALL. I swear!